


The Boy Next Door

by takhallus



Category: Radio 1 RPF
Genre: AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-03
Updated: 2014-01-03
Packaged: 2018-01-07 05:47:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1116249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takhallus/pseuds/takhallus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Collette orders Nick a stripper for his birthday, and a case of mistaken identity works out for everyone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Happy Birthday

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU where Nick is a Radio One DJ but Harry is not a pop star.

Although his friends had raised their eyebrows, Nick knew exactly what he was doing. He wasn’t going to turn 29 just once, and when you’re trying to keep the fact that your next set of birthdays will start with the number 3 nice and quiet you need to keep your actual 29th birthday low key. He didn’t want every man and his dog in North London claiming they were at Nick Grimshaw’s 29th birthday party when it was going to be the first of many.

He invited a grand total of four people to his dinner party - Aimee and Ian, Collette and Gels. Just a small dinner party with a lot of booze and no cameras or tweeting allowed. This would be the party that never happened. The perfect crime. Nick set the champagne into the ice bucket, still smarting that he had actually had to buy a bag of ice for the occasion. The food was all Marks and Spencers and straight out of the packet but no-one would care, they’d be too drunk to see by the time they were eating it. The cake was the biggest and chocolatiest one he could carry back to the car and he’d even gone to the trouble of icing ‘Happy’ and ‘Grimmy’ on it and whacking ‘2’ and ‘9’ candles on the top. Overall he was quite pleased with his minimal effort for minimal recall. The whole thing was very forgettable.

Everyone had been invited for 8, but he wasn’t ready until half past. At nine he started to get pissed off that no-one was there yet - the Marks’ chicken was ready and it was going to dry out. The ice in the ice bucket was starting to melt and he was buggered if he was going out to get more. Just as he was about to start making some ranty calls his phone rang. Gels. 

“Hiya babe, listen I am so sorry Grim but I’m really ill. I’ve been throwing up all day and I was trying to sort myself out but it’s not happening. Can you live without me?”

He sighed theatrically. “I suppose so Gels, but you owe me big time for this, minus ten friend points. Get well soon, then.” 

“Cheers babe, have a good one.”

He ended the call and rolled his eyes. There’s always one who bails. Not that it mattered, the fewer people there the better to be honest. Nick got up to take Gels’ dinner out of the oven just as the phone rang again. This time it was Aimee’s face which flashed up on his screen, sticking two fingers up at him. “Aims, are you on the way? I’ve got twenty five quid’s worth of chicken here, I’ve pushed the boat well and truly - “

“Sorry Grimmy, we’re stuck in traffic, I don’t think we’re going to get there in enough time. Can you keep it warm for us? I told Ian we shouldn’t go to Westfield this late but he insisted it was fine and now there’s a pile up on the A503 and …”

Nick tuned out as she described traffic at him and glanced up at the clock. Even if they got straight through they’d be another forty minutes. “Alright Aims, just give us a bell when you get to Haverstock, whenever that might be…” 

Nick threw himself down on the couch and sighed, feeling sorry for himself. Although he didn’t want a big deal for his birthday he at least wanted a little bit of company. He loved Collette but if it was just going to be the two of them they might as well be in a pub somewhere. He dialled her number and scratched at Puppy’s ear as she jumped onto his lap uninvited. “At least you love me.” 

“Grim! I’m glad you rang babe, I know I’m late but listen there’s been a bit of a mix up with your present and I’m just trying to sort it out.”

“Aw, fucking hell Collette, I’m not bothered about presents I just want someone, anyone, to walk through the door so I don’t have to drink a bottle of champagne and eat five Marks’s chicken breasts on my own. Which I will, by the way, now I’ve been abandoned by my best mates.” Puppy was looking up at him as if she understood and he mouthed an apology at her for shouting. Collette was saying something but it sounded like an excuse so he didn’t listen. It was more fun for him to feel sorry for himself and sulk. 

“And so when he turns up just enjoy yourself and I’ll ring before I barge in, okay? It’s not all above board if you know what I mean but the extras are paid for so have a good time, give him some champagne and he’ll do whatever you want.”

“What?! What was that? The line’s bad.” And I wasn’t listening. Nick gave Puppy a puzzled look.

“You weren’t listening you mean! I got you a stripper, he’s booked for the wrong time and I’m trying to sort it, but if he gets there before I do just go with it. See you in about an hour babe, sorry about this, nightmare! Love you!”

She hung up and Nick just stared at the phone. A fucking stripper and he’s here all on his own with a dog and a fuck load of chicken. This was supposed to be a forgettable birthday not a bloody Carry On film. He got up and gave Puppy a bowl full of dog biscuits to keep her out of the way while he turned off the oven and tried to stop his brain from whirring. What was that about ‘extras’? Surely Collette hadn’t gotten him an actual prostitute? Whatever, he wasn’t about to pay for a shag. He wasn’t that desperate yet. He cracked open the bottle of soave and tensed a little as he saw Puppy’s ears prick up. That usually meant there was someone coming down the steps to the flat. He jumped up and looked out of the window hoping to see a cab or Aimee and Ian’s car pulling up. Just as he did the buzzer went for the door and he tried to make a split second decision - answer the door or pretend he wasn’t in? Downing his glass of white he went for the door. Making sure Puppy wasn’t behind him he slowly descended the stairs to look through the spyhole. 

“Fuck.” he whispered to himself. Even through the fish eye perspective of the spyhole he could see that this boy was fit. He had a mass of brown curls pulled back with a headband, and plump, pink lips. Opening the door he tried to give the effect of ‘cool and cosmopolitan’. Sure, he could entertain a stripper for a bit, this is London! He’s a cool Londoner!. He swung open the door and gave his best TV smile. “Hi! Come on up, have some champagne, what’s your name?”

The boy looked intimidated. “Er, it’s Harry. I’ve just come to…”

Grimmy was already through the main door to the flat, trying to shoo away Puppy and not let the stripper get a word in. “Oh I know, I know, come in though, let’s have a drink first, it’s my birthday. I’m 29.” He turned round and wobbled inside as he saw the gorgeous boy in the light. He was lightly tanned and lean with the skinniest of skinny jeans and a shirt almost unbuttoned the whole way. Why someone like this had to strip was a mystery, he could be a model. 

“You don’t look 29,” the boy muttered. “I mean, you look a lot younger.” He had bright green eyes which he fixed on Nick as if he actually fancied him. 

“Oh you can stay, darlin’. Definitely.” Nick popped the champagne and poured it slowly, using the proper white napkin and everything. Cosmopolitan. London. He handed the boy a glass and chinked it with his own. “Drink up now, plenty more where that came from.”

Harry tipped his head to one side but shrugged and downed the champagne. He held the glass loosely, not looking like he wanted more. Maybe it was game time? Nick took the glass and placed it next to his on the table. 

“So, I know I’m the only one here, but maybe we could get started? I mean, if you don’t mind. I mean, are there rules about this?”

Harry furrowed his brow. “Erm, I, well…I have this.” He held out a white envelope which Nick took and dropped on the table. 

“Let’s deal with that later,” Nick growled, champagne rushing in his empty stomach. That was probably Collette’s bill to take care of, and he wanted to show that he wasn’t the kind to check how much things were costing him. He moved forward, placing one hand loosely on Harry’s hip. The other hand he stroked down Harry’s side, pulling gently at his shirt. “Shall we get rid of this for starters?”

Harry took a deep breath, his eyes wide. Cute, Nick thought he’s trying the old ‘teen virgin’ routine. Nick stared into his eyes, glancing down at those pretty pink lips and licking his own to urge the boy on. Harry moved forward tentatively and let Nick kiss him, spreading long fingers under his shirt. Nick felt himself harden as Harry quickly unbuttoned his shirt revealing a nice flat stomach and a few more black, scrawly tattoos. Dropping to his knees, Nick popped the button on Harry’s jeans and mouthed at his hip bone as he brushed against the boy’s erection. Just as he was debating whether it was sexy or stupid to pull the zip down with his teeth, the door buzzed again.

“Shit.” Nick jumped up. “It’s my friend Collette, she’s the one who booked you. When she comes in can we do the old traditional strip and singing happy birthday or something, then I’ll kick her out and we can get back to the ‘extras’, alright?” He headed for the door trying to adjust himself so he didn’t look like too much of a perv.

“Erm, what do you - “ Harry looked a little thrown by the situation, shirt half off and his hard on still pretty obvious. Nick ducked back and poured more champagne. 

“I’ll be right back darling, two minutes.” Nick jogged down the stairs pretty pleased with himself. He might be knocking on 30 but he could still do crazy shit. He could still get a cute stripper half hard in his living room and …

What Nick saw through the spyhole made his stomach turn over again, but not in a good way. There was a man. Thirty five if he was a day, with a bad spray tan and shaved head and trying to rock double denim. Oh God. He opened the door against all better judgement.

“Hi, I’m Rich. Collette sent me to wish you a happy birthday.”

Nick grimaced. “That’s...so nice of her, but I actually have my mum here right now, she popped in unexpectedly.”

Rich looked slightly disappointed. “That’s too bad. Well, she’s already taken care of the bill, so, do you want to...rain check, or?” 

“I’ll get her to call you,” Nick dug into his pocket and pulled out a tenner, handing it over. “Take that for your trouble, sorry mate, bye!”. 

Easy, he thought, as he shut the door and leaned against it. Now came the hard part. He rubbed at his face trying to erase some of the mortification and shame but strangely enough it didn’t work. Sighing, Nick pushed himself off the door and made his way back upstairs. 

Sticking his head round the door he saw Harry crouched stroking Puppy’s head and cooing at her. It was sweet. A nice moment before Harry either blackmailed him or called the police. He walked into the room and braced himself. 

“Oh hi,” Harry stood up, brushing himself down self-consciously. “I like your dog. Anyway, erm, I brought your letter…” He reached over to the table and picked up the white envelope. “It came to my flat by mistake so I thought I’d bring it.”

A billion made up explanations ran through Nick’s head before he decided to just go with good old fashioned begging. “I am so sorry Harry, I thought you were a stripper that my stupid friend got for me and, I mean I should have known because all the strippers I’ve ever seen look like old, old, leather suitcases and you look like someone who’d be kicked out of Hollister for being too handsome.” 

Harry smiled and blushed and Nick relaxed a little. Maybe no police. But he definitely wouldn’t get the payoff on that blowjob he was trying to give. “Look, have some more champagne, Harry, please, I feel like such a massive knob.” He poured some more into their glasses and gestured towards the cake. “I can also offer this celebration of sugar and cocoa which will make you obscenely fat.”

Harry glanced about the flat and then slunk over to Nick with his green eyes focused on him. Nick shifted, trying not to let Harry notice that he was getting hard again. 

“You know, before the door went, I was actually enjoying myself. I mean, I come over with a letter, expecting to get let in by the cleaner, and instead it’s Nick Grimshaw, in person, who gives me champagne and then gets straight on his knees for me.” Harry smirked, slipping his fingers just inside Nick’s waistband. 

Words tried to force their way out of Nick’s throat but what actually emerged was more like the lovechild of a cough and a burp. Harry kissed him, undoing his pants as he went and shoving an eager hand onto Nick’s cock, which was just the perfect time for the door to buzz again.

“Oh fuck off!” Nick barked as Harry giggled and zipped him back up. “I’ll just not answer it, don’t zip me up, please, that’s the worst thing that could ever happen.”

“It’s your birthday, I read the cake! Unless you’re celebrating getting a 29 inch waist.” Harry gulped down some champagne. “And I doubt you are.”

“Heeeeey! Oh fine. I’ll answer it, but don’t go anywhere.” 

Nick ran out to the hallway and down the stairs, undecided whether to kiss Collette or shake his fist at her like a 1950s policeman. 

“Oh babe, sorry I’m so late, did he come? Is he here? What’s he like? I told them I wanted their best looking one and I hinted that he had to give you at least a blowy if you asked him, I paid a lot of money.” Collette swept past him, not letting him get a word in edgeways as she related the details of her dodgy dealings with North London’s least reputable entertainment agency. 

“Yeah, the thing is Collette I’m a bit tired now and..” Nick looked around the flat. No Harry. 

“You what? Tired? I want this chicken you’ve been going on about.” Collette shucked her coat and started pouring herself a drink.

Nick was getting more and more confused as there was no sight of Harry anywhere. He glanced down at the table and saw the envelope that Harry had brought over. He turned it over, and sure enough, there was scrawled a message. He read it four times, and then finally, held it up in front of his face until Collette stopped talking and read it.

Her lips moved as she read, then her eyes widened and she grabbed her coat. “See you in the morning darling, sorry I can’t stay, feeling a bit tired you know how it is.” She grinned and gave a double thumbs up like she was in some kind of sitcom before heading out the door.

Nick looked at the envelope where Harry had written “I’m in your bedroom, and I’m naked.” He clapped his hands, grabbed the champagne, and waved to Puppy. “Happy Birthday Grimmy.”


	2. Champagne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry might not be a stripper, but he's still naked.

Nick didn’t really expect to be able to play it cool when he got into the bedroom. He had one of the fittest lads he’d ever seen lying on his bed naked and he was only armed with a bottle of champers, which he’d drunk half of on an empty stomach. He was always mystified as to why people thought he was in any way cool - he seemed to lurch from fashion disaster to fashion victory without knowing which was which, and why. He was constantly falling over, dropping things, saying the wrong thing and tweeting embarrassing things whilst inebriated. And if that wasn’t bad enough he seemed compelled to tell a few million people every morning what his latest faux pas had been. He was secretly convinced that everyone was playing a big joke on him and that one day the 3am page in the Daily Mirror would be dedicated entirely to revealing this with a banner headline saying something like “Grimmy : Actually A Tit.”

So he wasn’t going to play it cool. He was just going to be normal. He was going to walk in, say something appreciative of the lad’s tattoos and basically do whatever he wanted him to do. He was going to try to not completely ruin it, so that the next time they bumped into each other sex was still on the menu, and Harry didn’t just mumble something about the dentist and then go through the nearest door which turned out to be a bicycle accessories shop. That had happened. The man in question had stood there for fifteen minutes looking at helmets, occasionally glancing back through the window to see if Grimmy was still watching. It was pretty excruciating. 

Nick took a deep breath and opened the door. Harry was just lying there, completely naked, one leg bent, one arm behind his head nice and casual like. His cock (six inches, Nick guessed from the safety of the door) was hard and flush against his stomach. It was the same colour as his lips. OK change of plan. Play it cool, Nick.

“Is it?” Harry looked down. “I guess. It gets darker once I...Are you okay?”

No, Grimmy was choking on his own spit. “Shit, did I say that out loud? Sorry, that was meant to be in my head. I’m trying to be cool you see.”

Harry smiled a dazzling toothpaste advert smile and patted the bed next to him. “Come and bring your champagne. Do you think the bubbles will feel nice against your cock if I drink some and then keep it in my mouth while I blow you?”

“Stop it!” Nick spat out desperately. “Can you stop being sexy and all relaxed for a minute? Christ, I’m dying over here. I started the night expecting to get hammered and eat chicken.”

“Well I can hammer you and then you can eat this chicken.” He bounced his eyebrows and collapsed into giggles. 

Nick laughed despite himself and moved to put the champagne on the bedside table. “Do you do this a lot or something? You’re very confident for someone whose cock’s on display in a strange man’s house.” He took off his jacket and kicked off his shoes, cursing himself for putting socks on. There’s no sexy way to take socks off.

Harry crumpled his brow. “I don’t do it at all, not since I’ve been here actually. But I feel like I know you, you’re not strange. Your voice wakes me up every morning. I know your parents’ names and stuff. Can you get naked quicker?”

He got up on his knees and undid Nick’s pants, sniggering at his boxers. “Did Henry give you those for free?” He nodded towards the ‘House of Holland’ waistband.

“Oh shit, yeah he sends them me for a joke every year. At least it’s not one of his fucking cat jumpers.” Nick threw his shirt on the floor and tried to suck in his stomach. He told himself the slight bulge in his tummy was champagne and not the sausage barms he’d been eating for the last three days saying they were a birthday treat. 

Harry yanked down Nick’s boxers and gave him two rough strokes as he grabbed for the champagne, taking a mouthful straight from the bottle. With a level of concentration Nick didn’t think he had ever achieved Harry opened his mouth just enough to take Nick’s cock into the hollow of his cheek and suck as the champagne washed over him. Nick gasped and thrusted against his will as the chilled liquid and the bubbles made him shiver. Harry gripped his hips and let out a little gasp of his own as Nick took fistfuls of his hair. “Sorry, sorry,” Nick whispered breathlessly, rubbing Harry’s head better. “Jesus, that’s a good..mouth.” He grimaced. Playing it cool had gone out of the window. Harry was humming around his dick, actually laughing at him, which was possibly a new low. It felt alright though. It felt intimate and sweet, like they’d known each other longer than an hour. 

Nick felt Harry’s nails scrape down his sides and moaned softly at the unexpected pressure. The boy was almost doubled up, letting Nick’s cock hit the back of his throat now and swallowing around him. “I’m go - oh, sorry. Sorry.” Didn’t even get to ‘gonna’ before he came. Great.

Nck looked down to see Harry sucking him dry, turning his big green eyes up to him as if he needed any kind of approval. Taking his jaw gently in his hands Nick pulled Harry off his cock and bent down to kiss him. He could still taste champagne. “Was that okay?” Harry asked, his pink lips shining.

Letting out a breath he’d been holding, Nick shrugged. “Was alright I suppose. I mean, as champagne blow jobs go…” He kissed Harry again just to give himself time to recover. “Sorry about the lack of warning…”

“Yeah, I wanted you to come on my chest. Don’t forget next time.” He winked and Nick smiled like an idiot.

“What about you, what do you.. I could do stuff. To you. If you want. What do you like?” Nick flipped onto his back hoping Harry would come back with something that was physically possible for him right now. Like a game of cards, or some sleeping. 

“Well actually…” Harry leaned up on his elbow and started to trace his finger through Nick’s chest hair. “Oh no, never mind, it’s a bit weird.”

“No, I can do weird.” Nick was determined not be outdone, he was only 29 for God’s sake, he’s already been sucked off by a fake stripper, he could do weird. Possibly… “Come on, what is it? s it more champagne related stuff? Do you want me to stick a cork up there or something?”

Harry gave a delighted chuckle, like that was the funniest thing he had ever heard. He slapped Nick’s chest. “No! I just...Oh God...Well, do you remember on Sweat the Small Stuff? When, you know when you were...talking dirty?”

“To the towel?! You want to me talk dirty to a towel for you?” Nick wondered if he even had any clean towels. Maybe a tea towel would do. Or a napkin?

“Not to the towel, I erm….” For the first time since they’d met, Harry actually looked embarrassed. “I mean, to me. While you wank me off?” He looked up tentatively. “It’s okay if you don’t want to.”

Nick turned over and gently pulled Harry’s arms above his head, pinning him only slightly while he kissed the boy’s neck. “You liked that did you?”

“Yeah,” Harry squirmed under Nick’s touch, his cock twitching. “I played that bit over and over on iPlayer. It was just your voice. I love your voice.”

Talking. Well, that was easy. “Alright, but my dirty talk is a non-visual medium. Keep those lovely eyes closed or I’ll get flustered and start going on about chicken again.”

“You could blindfold me…” Harry almost pulled off nonchalant, but not quite. Nick smiled and reached over to his bedside table for the sleep mask he’d robbed from a flight to New York. Luckily it wasn’t one of those novelty ones which said Sleeping Beauty on it. That might put him off his stride. He slipped the mask over Harry’s head and saw an instant reaction. His chest started to rise and fall faster, his skin getting goosepimples and his cock hardening, and as promised, darker than his lips all of a sudden. Nick reached for the lube and saw Harry flinch as the cap was popped, the small noise loud in the quiet room. He squirted some into his hand and held Harry’s wrists as he leaned down to his ear. “Are you going to lie there like a good boy for me? I don’t have to tie you up do I?”

Harry gently shook his head. Nick brushed his fingers gently along Harry’s inner thigh and across his balls, eliciting a wriggle from his boy. He did nothing but wrap his hand around Harry’s cock, holding it there while he gave himself the ‘On Air’ light. Now he had to do a few test sentences to gauge whether Harry wanted his talk sweet or salty.

“That’s it baby, you just lie there and let me take care of you.” Not much reaction. “It must really take it out of you, slutting it up all over North London.” Harry’s hips hitched and he gasped a little. Bingo. “Showing up here, to the house of a man you’ve never met, and letting him use your sweet little body for anything he wants. Well you’re in for it now Harry, because I’m going to take you hard and fast and make you beg for it, you dirty little boy.”

“Yes….” Harry whispered, thrusting up into Nick’s hand as it tightened around his cock. “Please, I’ll beg, I’ll do anything….”

“Keep that pretty mouth closed, I’ll tell you when you can speak. Fancy letting a stranger get you naked so fast, get you on your knees sucking his cock and asking to be come on after less than an hour. I bet you’re well known for this aren’t you? I’m going to fuck the shit out of you and teach you a lesson. Would you like that?”

“Y-yes.” Harry was panting now, a sheen of sweat forming on his chest.

“I think for my next party I know exactly what to do with you. I’ll just put you on your hands and knees on this bed with your little blindfold on and tell my guests you’re their party favour. We’ll take bets on how many cocks you’ve had inside you by the end of the night, because you’d just take it wouldn’t you? I’d let them stretch you out for me so that I could just come in once everyone had gone and fuck you when I got bored.”

Harry moaned and came hard, trying to thrust into Nick’s grip which had gotten tighter than he meant it to. Harry suddenly wrenched his wrists free and pulled off the blindfold, guiding Nick to straddle him and wanking him quickly until he was coming over Harry’s chest and the big, black butterfly tattoo right in its centre. Harry exhaled. “Told you you’d come on my chest next time.” He grinned and held Nick as he fell onto him.

“Was that alright? It wasn’t too mean was it? I felt a bit mean at the end there.” To be honest Nick was a bit surprised all that had come out of his mouth. 

“It was perfect. But then you could say anything in that voice and I would have come. You could have read the football results.” 

Nick rolled over onto his back and got one of his special face wipes, the expensive ones. Harry was worth it. He started to clean the come off his chest while the boy’s eyes fluttered closed. “Arsenal 3 - Hull City - nil.”

“Mmm!” Harry mockingly rolled his hips and giggled, then yawned. “Oh, sorry. I was up at six this morning.”

Nick tossed the face wipe on the floor and pulled the covers over them, nuzzling up to Harry’s side. “Are you working tomorrow?”

“Nope. You?”

“Nope, let’s sleep until one of us wakes up the other one with a blow job.” Nick reached over to turn off the light. 

“Well it’s not your birthday tomorrow so don’t think you’re getting any special treatment. And you promised to fuck me so I’m holding you to that.” Harry cuddled up to Nick and lay his head on his chest. 

“Bloody hell, why did I ever answer that door?” 

Harry made a noncommittal sleep noise and Nick stared at the ceiling. So much for making his 29th birthday forgettable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Sweat the Small Stuff moment Harry references is here http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=EpIoZ-8RMqw


End file.
